Perseus and I have mastered the lieing down feeding position. Life is beautiful. I may still subsist on 2 hrs of sleep but no more sitting upright at 3 in the morning with Percy on a boppy pillow.
We have a pediatrician appointment tomorrow. He's been suckling nearly nonstop over the last 24 hours. If he's lost more weight, passing the 10% loss mark, I don't know what I'll do.
With hourly cries for milk or a clean diaper I've forsaken the bassinet. That's right: we're cosleeping. I keep him in a u-shaped pillow, swaddled and away from bedding. It's temporary but for now it seems the perfect arrangement.
Okay you can yell at me now.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
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101 comments:
Cosleeping is wonderful :-)
So can you tell us his name??? Puh-leeeeze? Is it Perseus? Percy? Anything?!?!?
Love to you and the babe!
aw. i wouldn't even know what to yell about! it sounds lovely.
no yelling here, just telling everyone to "shhh, don't wake Perseus and Mummy..."
Co-sleeping is a great way to bond. My 6 month old sleeps with me often.
I am so happy for you!
I loved cosleeping...both kids coslept with me for years. I was a single Mom of 2 for almost 8 yrs, kids are now 11 & 15, sleep just fine on their own, but have fond memories of snuggling. As long as you take precautions with bedding etc, then enjoy the time you and Perseus have to be close.
That's the beauty of it.. YOU are the mama and you can do as you darn well please without anyone yelling at you!
Do what's best for you and baby. :)
Good luck at the appointment tomorrow!
co-sleeping worked for us! Enjoy!! (And secretly almost everyone co-sleeps at some point)
My son slept on my chest for the first 6 weeks. Nursing him put me into a coma, plus the sleep deprivation. Yet I was always hyper-alert to his every movement. I would fall asleep nursing him , and wake up 4 hours later with him cradled in my arms in the exact same way.
No yelling from me.
YES - I did that - both of us lying on our side, would wake up after hours of blessed sleep, and she would still be latched on. But we had both been asleep. Sleep is a wonderful thing. Then she got to big - maybe about 2 months old, did not fit anymore where my hips bent. So, by then we were pros at breastfeeding and I was a comfortable mom . . . almost. Now she is 15, and I am still almost a comfortable mom. You two are doing GREAT!!!!!
Cosleep away. It's the best thing since sliced bread.
Nope... No yelling. The best thing about being a parent is that you get to choose whats best for your little one!
Good luck with the appt tomorrow!!!!
I did the exact same thing. Never thought I would. Just the first of one million things I've done differently than I thought -- 10 months and counting.
you win
Everybody cosleeps, nobody admits...
Whatever works best for the two of you is the right thing. I hope the appointment goes well and that he's gained weight.
You are his mother, and you get to decide what is best for the two of you. Plus, I've read a TON about the benefits of co-sleeping :). Good luck tomorrow!
Love that last comment "...you are his mother". I'm still just so glad he's finally here and perfect! *sigh*
Co sleeping rocks. We're still doing it, though I'd like to start moving my little man to be more independent. I think at this point he'd sleep longer without the distraction of me right there. Maybe.
Oh, and you do rock. I've never mastered the art of feeding horizontally, so I get out of bed and use the damn boppy everytime. I just can't quite get the angle and feel like my back has to be so contorted. So congrats! you're a pro!
If he's needing a feed or a clean nappy every hour, I don't think you have ANYTHING to worry about weight wise!
Co-sleeping saved my sanity on more than one occasion. Do whatever you need to to get more sleep.
Co-sleeping is key (to me) to avoiding major sleep deprivation. I had a perfect co-sleeping/nursing relationship with my first four. When my two littles were adopted I almost died from bottle feeding insomnia!
Sounds like you are doing great. I hope the doctor visit goes well.
I still joyfully co-sleep with my now 6 year old and will with the new one.
side lying is soooo key to sanity, you mastered it way faster than I did that's for sure!!
I would also say lots of poopy diapers should mean good weight gain.
We cosleep too, its the only way to get sleep. It may sound silly but have you tried putting your nipples in the sun to help them heal? I don't mean remove them, but just stand by a window where sun can shine on them? That and letting them air dry after feeding was the best advice my lactation consultant gave me.
there is only one rule when it comes to kidsand sleeping. doe what gives you sleep. Sleep deprivation can make life very unsafe. I almost came under a truck one day on my bike. Moms need to be alert moms need sleep so Yah antigone. And when he has dropped weight you'll fnd a good lactationconsult!
cosleeping is the best by 3 weeks my little one slept 6 hours at a strech nursed sidelying and we both stayed in bed for 10 hours at night and were well rested. i did get one of those boxes to prevent roll overs but she was like a heat seeking missle and got out of it by 1 month old and would be up by my side(it was a 3 sided box the bottom end was open)so finally i gave up and just went with the rules about bedding and such and we still co sleep 17 months later with another on the way. my question is how do you do it with 2?
No yelling here - cosleeping is what we do at our house too! I can't imagine anything more tiring than getting up every two hours to sit and nurse - just tuck the babe next to you and latch when needed.
Best of luck with tomorrow's appointment!
I'm still giddy for you!
No yelling from this neighborhood, Mama. You get to call the shots! We co-slept, too. Now he's 10 months and we have some snuggling, but he's a kicker and a snorer, and so am I...so we're both sleeping better in our own beds. =)
But you get to call the shots. That means with everything - including what the pediatrician tells you to do. Of course s/he is going to go by-the-book and tell you what the AAP says is best, and then you say thank you, take in under consideration, and make *your own decisions.*
Trust yourself, you'll do what's best for both of you. My advice is - don't leave yourself out of the equation when it comes to the decisions of what's best for P.
The only thing I'd be yelling is "good for you!"
We cosleep with both TBB and TTG, wouldn't have it any other way.
There are safe cosleeping guidelines around the internet, might be worth reconsidering the pillow (am not entirely sure what kind of pillow you mean).
Breastfeeding laying down is the best thing ever IMO. TTG feeds so much more easily that way.
TTG used to feed constantly from around 4pm to 9pm every day, plus feeding heaps the rest of the day, and throughout the night. Feeding often is completely normal, and it helps with your milk supply too.
The info here (breastfeeding, cosleeping and other stuff) is wonderful; www.tribalbaby.org
No yelling from me...if it works, it works.
i've been cosleeping with Posey since September. last night was actually the first night she slept seven straight hours in her little cosleeper/bassinet thing EVER...she's normally in the bed with me at least half the night if not all. she likes it...it's just who she is. Oscar has never once in his life slept in my bed.
you enjoy that beautiful baby, and get some sleep, however works.
No, no- there is no yelling for a good mommy does whatever she has to do to make it through the night. He is happy and so are you -that is all that matters.
I'm in awe. I have to admit I could NEVER master that lying down position.
Percy - I love his suto-nickname!
I coslept with my son as well. There's great research to support it.
http://tinyurl.com/96vqkk
Sensible and careful co-sleeping is totally the way forward!
I just wanted to post a quick comment about breastfeeding and losing weight.
I struggled with breastfeeding my son in the beginning. He nursed almost constantly, and continued to lose weight our first few weeks home.
I wound up supplementing with formula for a few weeks. I was heartbroken when the doctor told me that basically my son was not getting enough nutrients from me. But I pumped and mixed breast milk with formula and fed him with a bottle. We did that for 3-4 weeks, and then went back to breastfeeding.
I breastfed without any problems after that until my son was 19 months. So if you find that he's losing weight and you do have to supplement for a while, don't beat yourself up, and know that it doesnt mean you can't go back to 100% breastmilk.
:)
Andrea
Cosleeping is so fun and cuddly. So I'm not yelling at you (I didn't read through all the comments to see if anyone else did).
Lemy and I still cosleep and she's almost 6 months old. You've got to do what works for you. :)
I think everyone does this!
Co-sleeping is the only way to get sleep. More power to you.
Nope, not me~ I'm not going to yell. Though I am not a single parent, nor do you need to be one to co-sleep, You do what you have to do to get by. It's hard!
You do what is best for you, which will trickle down to little Perseus. It's All good!
Take care.
Hugs,
Jennifer-Ohio
There's nothing wrong with what you're doing! A rested mama is a happier mama, and you do need to sleep so you can produce milk. He's still so little, so it's not likely that he'll roll onto his face, right? So, just keep doing what you're doing, and you both will thrive! Enjoy it!
Cosleeping, like nursing, is a totally personal choice. If it works for you both and helps you get a few more precious moments of sleep, it is no one else's business!!! I am glad you're finding things that work for you!
I did until Bella started kicking the crap out of me and rolling around and really what I'm in favor of? Sleep for mom, by any means necessary. (Mastering feeding while lying down was a watershed of sorts for me, too.) If that means co-sleeping, yay, if not, yay for that too. I'm an equal opportunity sleep promoter.
Keep eating, wee pea.
So happy to read all of the supportive comments. I was going to add, do what works for you. It sounds like you are considering his safety and of course that is important but your sanity is as well! I did not BF so don't have any tips there but will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for the upcoming appt. Let us know how it goes! You are doing a great job.
I also love the "Percy" nickname!
I have to agree with the comment "everyone cosleeps, no one admits". I loved having the twins in bed with me for the first 3 months, the perfect sleeping arrangement and easier to hold in pacifiers in my case.
I'm not an advocate for cosleeping with a two year old though, but out of safety for mom, not baby :)
I am impressed by how quickly you mastered lying down nursing. That is a life changing thing, for sure.
No yelling from me. I was just saying the other day that early infancy would have been so much easier if I had relaxed about things like that. He slept so well on our chests but I was so nervous about it I would hardly let him. I wish I had just curled up with him and SLEPT!
Marjorie slept with me and would wake me up in the middle of the night by trying to help herself to the food. ;) I just had her tucked into my armpit for sleeping and never rolled over on her or let her fall out of the bed. You have to do what works for you especially when you are feeding so often. Sleep is a GOOD thing and Mommy needs that. Good luck at the doctor I am sure he will have gained the 10% and surprised you. They all lose weight after being born and then usually gain it back plus some by the first doctor appointment.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2266117
Here's a snuggle nest for co-sleeping if the pillow thing doesn't work out. :)
No yelling. We did it until it finally killed my back. You have to do what is best for you to get rest. Good luck with the weigh in.
i still co-sleep part of the night with my 18month old--
cosleeping helps your milk supply too--
you'll figure out the bf thing-- hopefully he has gained more--
There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping. Kids are only kids for a short period of time. I slept with my Mom until I was 12 and turned out just fine. My son is 3 and he still sleeps with me. He can sleep with me until he's embarrassed too!
Wow. What a wonderful group of women. I am in awe of all the support. I really expected someone to be a jerk. So glad no one has...yet.
I have to say that I absolutely loved co-sleeping with my 2 daughters. When my oldest was a baby, she would NOT sleep in her bassinet. But, as soon as I'd bring her into bed with me, she'd curl up on her side and snuggle me. It was heaven. And, my youngest would only sleep on me. I slept all those first weeks on my back with her on her stomach on me. Her head was on my chest. It worked for us. She was safe with my arms around her and she could lift her head enough not to smother. If you think about it, it's completely natural. He was just snuggled up inside you and now we expect him to sleep alone? No way! Do what you got to do and don't appologize for it! I'm so proud of you for trying so hard with the breastfeeding. And, I hope he has gained weight.
No one's place to yell. YOU are the Mama, you get to choose what is right for your family.
I am a huge fan of cosleeping. Now, I'm not a mommy or anything, but I AM a fan of the Attachment parenting style, which encourages cosleeping.
Co-sleeping is good for you AND baby! :) Makes everybody happy! Plus, you're the mama. You know what's right for your baby.
We did a lot of cosleeping the first two weeks because he was nursing so much and they pretty much want to be held constantly those first few weeks/months. I think it all works itself out -- either you both enjoy it, it works and you continue to co-sleep or he will get adjusted to the bassinett or crib.
haha is there any other way? We
co-slept and I was a all-you-can-eat buffet for my little one until he was 14 months.
I was nursing in my sleep, he'd latch on (yours is too small still to do this) and I would be snoring.
At 14 months we parted ways and he went happily in the crib, where he could stretch and sleep more or less by himself. I missed him so much though.
I continued nursing until he was 20 months, at which point he was trying to do sommersaults while nursing.
One point for co-sleeping: no blankets, just dress really warm, and make sure he's between you and the wall and there are no spaces in which he could fall.
Usually they flip by themselves at 2 months but my best friend's baby flipped at a week and another friend's baby turned at 3 days! They're more mobile then we think sometimes..
I would cosleep with with Sam if he'd let me, despite all the ways I was rabidly against it before he came.
xo
Flicka
I wish I could have co-slept; I love to snuggle with my boy but I'm such a light sleeper I would get less sleep if he was in bed with me so the bassinet by the bed is what worked for me. You're doing what works for you and Perseus & that's the right thing! Mothers tend to be hardest on each other and I am SO INCREDIBLY PROUD to read that no one bashed you on this!! You have an awesome internet support system!!
It'll make all the difference now that your milk is in. Good luck at the appointment today.
I didn't co-sleep exclusively but often would fall asleep while nursing in bed. I say if it works for you, no one can fault you for it. And I think one of the best feelings is being snuggled up with someone you love so deeply.
Congratulations on mastering the laying down position, I couldn't get that down until much later, and quality of life improved greatly! Cosleep away, I always thought is would be really hard for the mama to adjust from having her baby snug in her belly at all times to being separated on the "outside" and cosleeping may help with that.
We coslept back in the dark ages when most women didn't breast feed, mostly out of sanity preservation. All the cosleepers are now essentially grown and all left on their own for their own beds early in life, with occasional returns to our bed for tv watching, book reading, cuddles and "talks of importance". I think those early months( years) cosleeping sets up a bonding and safe haven. At least that is how it translated in our house.
E sleeps in her bassinet until she wakes up to eat and the we cosleep :)
don't stress about co-sleeping! I did it and loved it, and when we grew out of it my baby moved into her crib just fine. there's plenty of evidence to support the idea that safe co-sleeping is better than placing the baby to sleep in the crib for a variety of reasons.
you're a new mommy - you do what works for you and don't worry about what anyone else thinks!
I don't think I could have successfully nursed 4 kids each for longer than a year without cosleeping. Thats why I think nursing is easier; no getting up to make a bottle in the middle of the night. My thought is if I don't need to get out of bed during the night I've had a full nights rest. Congratulations!
I am a big believer in whatever works, so no yelling from here. The Cub sleeps in his own bed in the room next door, as did Monkey, but that was up to each kid, and we remained flexible. Monkey spent a lot of time in bed with us when she was teething or had a very bad cold. The Cub was in a couple of nights this week for a very unusual for him all night nursing thing. Can't figure out whether he is teething, growth spurting, or just messing with me. Doesn't really matter-- whatever works. :)
If he has lost more, they may tell you that he is spending too much energy on sucking-- that was the concern with the Cub early on. If you can have someone watch him for a bit while you pump (you got a new pump, yes?), you might be able to give him a bit of a bottle after a quick nursing for a few days, and that may be all he needs-- to gain enough to have enough strength to suck efficiently.
Best of luck!
If my husband wasn't hogging the bed and the blankets every night I would co-sleep with my daughter. I love snuggling with her. I say, if you have the room in the bed, go for it! They aren't children forever so you should enjoy as much of it as you can now.
Yell at you? Holy cow you are doing it exactly right. As a breastfeeder, but not a vigilante, I say if he hasn't gained weight to your satisfaction give him a bottle every now and then. I don't believe it will ruin his whole life, and in fact, it helps everyone be more content during the first few months of figuring it out. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, there will be plenty of other things to fret and feel mom guilt over!
But what do I know, I'm just an anonymous commenter! :)
Co-sleeping always worked wonderfully for me and my babies, so restful and such an easy way to nurse. No yelling here *smile*
Glad you're both getting more sleep and figuring out nursing together. Me and my sisters co-slept with our parents and my sisters sleep with their babies - I'm all for it, temporary or not.
I think co-sleeping is fantastic. As are you.
No one is going to yell at you. It's your decision as a new mother to make. And you're dpoing a fine job.
Do you have any plans to change your blog name to "Antigone's Not Lost" anytime soon :-)
does co-sleeping with my dogs count? ;)
enjoy this time...with rest.
~jana
We co-slept. It was heaven!
Co-sleeping is excellent, especially when you're trying to establish your milk supply. Congrats on figuring out the lying down nursing deal. I didn't get that until my second kid, and when I did the heavens open, and the angels sang...and I couldn't have cared less, because I was SLEEPING, THANK THE LORD ABOVE.
It seems to me that the best thing about your sleeping situation is that you can have baby next to you without worrying about any hefalump of a man rolling over on him. Sorry - I don't mean to be insensitive about all you've been through, but that was my main barrier to co-sleeping much - I was sure my heavy sleeping moose of a husband would smush the baby.
Good luck at the weigh in. FWIW, you're doing exactly what you should be - nursing non-stop and wondering if it's all okay.
Cosleeping is AWESOME! Not dangerous in the least if you make sure to do it right! Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.
Ha! My ten-yr old still cosleeps w/me whenever he feels like it (so Momma soaks it up as often as she can)...
Before I know it, Mom might turn uncool.
*delurking* I coslept with my lil guy, even though people told me not to. I seriously don't see how people can breastfeed AND put them in another bed AND not die of exhaustion. :) *relurking*
No yelling here! I told myself I would NEVER cosleep with my children. Then I actually had one and changed my mind! It was the only way we would get sleep.
Side nursing is the best!! I actually nursed my son and my daughter for the first times in that position. I had blood pressure issues during my son's labor (but not during pregnancy - go figure!) and had to stay lying down for the first 12 hours or so. With my daughter my body crashed a little after her extremely quick 3 hour labor and there was just no way for me to sit up and nurse her so side lying it was. I adore it and encourage it for all new mommies!
Zander still sleeps with me -- or on top of me! No yelling from me!
Love,
Liz and Zander
I did the exact same thing for the exact same reasons. I think I was more fearful that he would stop breathing when we moved him into his crib at 4 months. I had to keep checking on him to make sure he was still breathing
Co-sleeping is really the perfect situation
You won't hear any yelling from me, except maybe cheers. Co-sleeping was my secret to always having a good night's sleep; that and nursing lying down (congrats on mastering that!).
If you're getting wet and poopy diapers frequently, Perseus is getting enough nourishment. I'd be willing to bet he's not losing weight, beyond what is normal in a newborn. Especially when he's suckling so continuously.
Slings are another wonderful thing--you can nurse discreetly within them, without being tethered to one spot.
You're giving your little boy what he needs--YOU. I can only applaud that.
P.S. there are 'sidecars' you can attach to the bed so you can reach for him as needed; I know there is a controversy about safety in cosleeping, but I always knew where my baby was...there was no way I would have rolled over on him.
You worked hard and long to have that baby. If you want to have him next to you 24/7 you have earned the right. That is one little boy who will know that his mama is always there for him. I only just started reading your blog and my heart is filled with happiness for you!! More pictures please. :) :)
I think co-sleeping will only be a problem if you're still trying to do it when he's 11! :-) You're doing such a great job with him!!
cosleeping is the way to go. that way, everybody sleeps. plus you get to breathe in his delicious scent all the time. yum.
if you're worried,though, check out the "snuggle nest" (http://www.securebaby.com/infant_sleepers_all.html). keeps him in bed with you but secure in his own wee bed. boo is just now outgrowing his at 4 months.
as for weight: both my (living) babes lost serious weight as newbies. to top it off, bitsy didn't gain *any* weight between 3-4 months. (then at 6 months she ballooned out like an inflated toy. she's now in the 90th percentile for all measurements.) by 6 weeks, boo had slipped from the 50th percentile for weight down to the 3rd. this stuff can be agonizing to deal with, especially if your doctor wants you to start supplementing p's feeds, pumping extra, etc. this is one of the reasons i'm a fan of galactologues. why not rest assured that your milk supply is plentiful? it will make it easier to pump and use those bottles to supplement, if supplementing is something p's doc wants you to do.
oh, and one extra comment about those cracked and bleeding nipples. you've probably heard this (sorry for the repetition) but your own milk really is the best salve. let your breasts air-dry after feeding. unless, you know, you're on a bus or something.
cheering you on,
--s.
I wouldn't want to yell at you for a things. I loved bed sharing with my babes. I really do.
Congrats on the side lying, I don't know how we would have survived without it.
oh, one more thing:
consider trading in your boppy for a brest-friend nursing pillow. much easier on the back, more of a help with posture, and very comfortable (imho) once baby hits 10# and on up.
not that you'll need it during sleeping hours. :)
ahhh...sleeping with babies is the BEST. I love their little cooing sounds. I hope you will post more pictures.
In my neighborhood, I was the weirdo for NOT co-sleeping! (Every tiny noise my kids made woke me up, whether or not they were ready to nurse. So I was better rested when they weren't inches from me all the time.)
I think that during infancy, the only operating rule is that if what you do leads to a healthy/happy baby AND mommy, then you should keep doing it.
No yelling, just many many congratulations at your news!!!! Welcome to the world, baby boy - and new mom!!
It is downright painful to get out of bed after a delivery. You do what you have to do to stay comfortable and to sleep.
Sounds perfect to me.
Lily has slept with me since the day she was born. She slept on my chest for the first 3 months. I would not have it any other way. Oh and I BF'd until she was over 2.5 years old. No yelling here, just virtual hugs and tons and tons of support for all that you are doing.
Cosleeping is what I credit for me not being so sleep deprived in those first few weeks. It worked so well for us we're still doing it a year later. You are already ahead of the curve now that you've figured out how to nurse on your side!
I co-slept with one baby once...so nice. I tried to co-sleep with them both the other day...Trip hs begun throwing up so this was a bit messy. ;-)
Enjoy it!
*deflecting the rain of anger sure to be coming* All three of my boys lost a bunch of weight, one so much that the doctor started calling him failure to thrive. I gave them formula after bf for the first 1.5-2 weeks and they were fine! My first 2 I bf for 21 and 22 months and this one is going strong at 3 months.
-e
Hey, cosleeping is sometimes the only sleeping. I coslept with my daughter until her twin brothers arrived. (she was 5) Then tried the crib with the boys, at sometime the 20 minute intervals of sleep got to me and into my bed they came. (They are 21 months old and still sleeping with me) and guess what, when my SO started working nights my now 7 year old daughter moved back into my room, with her own bed of course...
So enjoy it, you will both be better off for it.
I think co-sleeping is the best. It's the only way I managed to get any sleep when my four kids were little. And ignore those people who tell you that your baby will never sleep in his own bed - mine moved to their own beds just fine.
I was unable to co-sleep with my daughter because she had such bad reflux - she needed to be burped after feeding, kept upright for at least 30 minutes adn then elevated when I put her down, and she still projectile spit up all over everything. Not the best recipe for sleeping.
I didn't know what I was missing because I co-slept with my second child. It was the best thing ever. I was sometimes able to get 4 sometimes 5 hours of straight sleep. (he wanted to suckle all the time too.)
Yell at you?! Cosleeping is fantastic. Enjoy his 1st few weeks when all he knows is your face and the milk you are providing for him. Congratulations on mastering the laying down nursing technique. It helped me sleep a little more, in the beginning.
I would never yell at you, co-sleeping rocks, best thing ever. Frankly, if he's eating that well, no way he'd lose more weight. He might take a few weeks to gain back to his birthweight, but ehhh, no biggie.
Now I'm going to read the rest of the comments.
No yelling here :)
You do what you need to do to live in peace and contentment.
Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.
That's because it is the perfect arrangement. Those first 7 months cosleeping and breastfeeding my child were some of the best- for both of us. Cherish the time.
sarah
I lurk here often and don't comment. I have been co-sleeping since Em was born on and off. She goes down in her co-sleeper crib at night while I unwind but half way through the night she is always in bed with me. We feed lying down and sleep much better.
I just wanted to say thank you for posting this mainly so I could read all the amazing supportive comments you've got. It still seems so taboo to cosleep, it's nice to know that pretty much everyone is doing it too. One less thing for me to feel guilty about...
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